CAN NON-EXISTENCE REALLY EXIST?

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As a scientist I have been asking this question for a while and there is only one possible answer: what does not exist does not exist, period. Do not be fooled by apparently existing phenomena. The non-existent PRETEND to exist but in reality it does not exist no matter how hard it tries. If you are in one of these anomalous situations and have any hesitation, consult the catalog of what exists according to Science. If that strange phenomenon that you are witnessing does not appear in the catalog, IT DOES NOT EXIST. IT PRETENDS TO EXIST. The non-existent may not exist but it is not stupid, it is cunning and will try by all means to make you believe that it exists. But do not be fooled: pretend you too, bluff, look the other way, pretend not to notice. It’s what I do constantly. Look, I’ve been living in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, and I’m constantly the victim of one of these stubborn non-existent phenomena. The objects are blown up, the furniture crawls on the floor, the dishes are thrown out of the closet. Do you think this does not bother me? Of course! But I bear it in the name of Science! The laws of Science are to be obeyed. If those laws are broken, what do we get? A chaos! A chaos like the one that forms every time I’m at home. Because of this damn chaos, I’m on sick leave. Not that any of the objects that continually flutter around me has impacted me (although the other day, the toaster passed an inch from my head). No. The day before yesterday I met in the elevator with my neighbor downstairs, a woman strong as a bull. She says I’m dragging furniture up and down my apartment, I do not let her sleep at night! My explanation of non-existence did not seem to convince her to judge by the beating she gave me. But do you think these setbacks are going to make me move out of the apartment? Never! That would be tantamount to tacitly admitting the existence of the non-existent, which would be a humiliation for Science. Let the dishes fly around me as much as they want! Do you think a scientist is going to be impressed by something that can not be happening ?! Do you underestimate Science so much ?! It’s just a matter of mentalizing … and avoiding crossing with the neighbor below.
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