“THE TALENTED ALIEN”

I will tell you how the Society for Psychical Research first heard about what we call today flying saucers or Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO), but in 1890 (when this story is placed) they still did not have a name. (The testimonies referred to them as “that”). It turns out that in Burnley, County of Lancashire, lived a man capable of interpreting the song “If Ever I Cease to Love” with the laces of his shoes. For Sir Henry Sidgwick, this was an unprecedented paranormal phenomenon. As Sidgwick was the president of the Society nobody dared to contradict him, and that is how an expedition was organized to the county of Lancashire. (For the musician in question it was impossible to travel since he lacked other shoes than those he used to make music and they went out of tune if he walked with them.) Early in the morning, the four members chosen for the mission embarked on a stagecoach surrounded by the expressions of affection and gratitude from the rest of the SPR members.

Halfway through the journey the coach suddenly stopped. It was night and there were few miles to reach the next inn. Even though the coachman hurried the horses, these refused to advance. After several failed attempts, the four men got out of the coach. There was no sign of life on the horizon. They were in the middle of nowhere. They were complaining about their bad luck when suddenly a light similar to a falling star crossed the sky and landed on the ground at a short distance from them. The luminosity dimmed and then they saw that it was a spaceship. When a door opened and a sort of blue-green humanoid emerged from it, Sidgwick complained that now they were going to be late for their date with the man who made music with his shoelaces. The humanoid seemed to catch his thought as he immediately took off his silver shoes and began to perform with them “I’ll Tell Me Ma”. When he finished, he received sincere applause from the members of the SPR, who believed then that they were certainly facing a genuine paranormal phenomenon. After this improvised but masterful interpretation, the humanoid turned around and returned to the spaceship, which at great speed moved away disappearing in the darkness of the night.

At that moment, the horses seemed to recover, the passengers climbed aboard and the stagecoach resumed its way as if nothing had happened.

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