Why does the devil have horns?
Dear friend, the devil has horns for the same reason that goats have horns: because they are horned. Following this same logic rule you can deduce all kinds of things by yourself. For example: why do bears have hair? Indeed, dear: bears have hair because they are hairy. If the devil had hair, it would be hairy. If the bears had horns they would be horned. If my great-aunt had a beard, what would it be? My great-uncle?! No, my dear, I see you have not understood. If my great-aunt had a beard she would be bearded. Do you understand now? I advise you to practice a little more until you master this rule completely. And listen to me: you will see how applying this logical rule to all things, you will come to dominate the Universe! It is this same rule that has made possible the great advances of Humanity in all fields of Science. Including the arrival of man to the moon!
Why is the devil always painted red? Is red a devilish color?
Dear friend: I think you’ve already consulted before. Let me explain to you: The devil is painted red because the devil is red-colored. For the same reason black bears are painted black, and gray bears are painted gray. And if there were yellow bears they would be painted yellow. Do you understand? It is the same logical rule that we applied the other time -and also to the devil, by the way. It is the same golden rule that has taken man to the moon and has allowed to create bibs for babies. As for the color red: not, my dear, the color red has nothing devilish. In fact it is my favorite color and I am not devilish, quite the opposite. The color red is also the color of the poppies. Are you going to tell me that poppies are devilish? Okay, okay, they seem devilish to you. But that does not mean that poppies are devilish, dear. It is just an appraisal of yours. Very respectable but an out-and-out nonsense. An stupidity, if you allow me to be frank. And what if poppies were blue? Would they then be good and angelic? Yes?! Wow, I see how your logic works. I’m sorry to tell you, my dear, but with this logic you will not get anywhere. With this logic the human being would never have reached the moon. In fact, he would not even have known how to leave his house.
Why does the devil have a tail?
Again you, dear? And again with the devil? I hope you have other topics of conversation, otherwise you will not be invited to many parties. Anyway, I see that you have some difficulty assimilating the golden rule of logic. The rule that has allowed man to reach the moon. Why the devil has a tail? Because he is a tailed being! Do you see how easy? No, not a tailor! A tailed! A being with a tail! If he did not have a tail, he would be a being without a tail, do you understand? Okay, it doesn’t matter. I guess you have no intention of reaching the moon either, right?