There is a great variety of sects, all equally pernicious (it is not healthy to be brainwashed, no matter what kind of shampoo they use). But the sect I fell victim to has the added disadvantage that they do not allow you to sleep unless you have good reasons for it. And it is not enough to say “I’m sleepy”, you have to have a stronger reason. I will tell you how I fell into the networks of this destructive sect.
I was a naive young man in search of the “meaning of life”. I had the intuition that in life there must be something deeper than turn somersaults (I must clarify that I worked as acrobat in a circus). Some guys saw me one day snooping around an old bookstore in search of books in which the word “meaning” would appear in the title. And they grabbed me. When I say “grabbed” I do not mean that they surrounded me and grabbed me by the arms, or that they applied a cloth soaked in chloroform to my nose. No. Captors of sects are more subtle than that. They mostly use beautiful words. Like “butterfly” or “sunset” or “measles,” say. It’s like a siren song: you just have to let yourself go, and that’s what I did.
Then I was introduced to the leader, a guy who exuded charisma from all his pores. A kind of mix between Elvis Presley and Mickey Mouse, to be graphic. And naturally I fell at his feet. He asked me if I could lend him a few dollars. “Of course,” I said, “how much do you need?” “Everything you have”, he replied, “that will be enough.” Then his lieutenant accompanied me to the bank and I canceled my account and gave it all to the leader. I could not allow such a man to suffer economic hardship. Then they let me sing with the other members of the sect, which filled me with pride. We sang “Singing in the rain”, and as we sang it started to rain, and it was an unforgettable experience. Then they showed me the rooms of the large housing complex. It struck me that there was a room to meditate, another to sing, another to worship the leader, another to nose picking … but there was no bedroom. But who would want to go to bed with so many attractions around?! There was even a ficus! Not to mention the female members of the sect. Although it was forbidden to talk to them since they were all married. When I found out they were all married to the leader, I was not surprised because I myself had proposed to him in marriage the first time I saw him. But it turned out that I was not his type.
In short, the days were going by, devoted entirely to singing, brainwashing and worshiping the leader, and everything seemed perfect. Until, suddenly, one day I got sleepy. I talked to my supervisor about it, but he start dragging his feet. Then I laid down in the yard, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I heard the sound of drums. Around me, a few members of the sect were dancing and playing drums. I told them to get lost, that I wanted to sleep. That’s when I found out that it was forbidden. Instead of a bed, they gave me some blue pills with the instruction to take one each time I got sleepy. And that’s what I did.
After a year or so, I did not know what day we were or what year, I did not remember my name or my sex or anything that had nothing to do with the sect. I spent the day singing and worshiping the leader, which may sound boring but for me then it was most exciting. And I would still be there if it had not been for a girl who had just joined the sect and from whom I fell in love immediately. We quickly got along with each other and started making plans for the future. But then I found out that she was engaged to the leader. And see what love can do: in a flash I remembered even my social insurance number! I grabbed the girl by the hand and we both ran until we stopped hearing the song coming from the singing room.
Now we are happily married, we sleep eight hours a day, and we no longer ask ourselves about the meaning of life. We had just found out!