In the long run, Sigmund Freud would be considered the father of psychoanalysis. But, as I already told in the last story of “Parabbbbnormal tales”, in his beginnings, one of his first patients was the hysterical wife of a high command of the Austro-Hungarian army. In case you don’t know, in the last decade of the 19th century, a Jewish doctor could not refuse to treat the hysterical wife of a high command of the Austro-Hungarian army. For the simple reason that he had a sharp sword. In case his patient’s husband had not had a sharp sword, Freud would not have hesitated to kick her out of his consulting room. Because this patient was causing him a lot of headache. Indeed, her hysteria manifested itself by means of sequences of fifteen slaps on Freud’s each cheek with an interval between sequences of five minutes. In case you don’t know, you can not create psychoanalysis while you are receiving such amount of smacks three times a week. In fact, you could hardly create a hook to fish in such conditions. You will understand then that for Freud it was a liberation when he heard about a novel method of healing suitable for hysterical patients: hypnosis.
So he applied himself to master this method as soon as possible. And when he mastered it, he hastened to try to put it into practice with the hysterical wife of the high command of the Austro-Hungarian army. But given the extraordinary gesticulation of his patient (she used both hands to slap him on each cheek) and the short interval between the smack sequences, Freud understood that, to hypnotize his patient, first he would have to tie her to the divan and gag her. In case you don’t know, in the last decade of the 19th century, a Jewish doctor could not tie and gag the wife of a high command of the Austro-Hungarian army. However, Freud’s headaches were so strong that he took the risk. Once the patient was tied to the divan and conveniently gagged, Freud proceeded to hypnotize her. But before he could plunge her into a deep sleep, someone knocked on the office door. At that time, Freud could not afford to have a secretary, so he had to come to open the door personally. However, as soon as he opened it, he suddenly closed it again. This strange behavior was because his unexpected visitor was just her patient’s husband, the command of the Austro-Hungarian army.
In case you don’t know, in the last decade of the 19th century, you could not slam the door in a command of the Austro-Hungarian army’s face. Particularly, if he carried a sharp sword hanging on one side. So Freud opened the door again. “How dare you close the door in my face?!”, the officer snapped at him. “What door?”. “This door!” replied the officer pushing the door and bursting into the office lobby. “Where is my wife?” he asked. “What wife?” replied Freud, who was trying to buy time by pretending to be an imbecile. But when he saw that the officer was heading goose-stepping toward the consulting room’s door, Freud changed his strategy: he cunningly began to scream like crazy. The officer jumped and quickly turned around on his heels: “What’s wrong?”. “The Russians! (exclaimed Freud pointing towards the office door) The Russians invade us!”. Automatically, the officer brandished his sharp sword and hurriedly left the office goose-stepping, moment that Freud took to enter his consulting room and untie his patient.
When the officer returned, he found his wife slapping Freud on both cheeks in sequences of fifteen slaps on each cheek with an interval between sequences of five minutes.
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