The patient, on the couch. The analyst behind seated in a chair.
DOCTOR: First let’s introduce ourselves. What is your name?
PATIENT: Leonard
DOCTOR: Pleased to meet you, Leonard. I am Doctor Edward Scripture. The two police officers who have brought you have told me they found you wandering naked in Manhattan
PATIENT: The thing is that to get into the machine, you have to get undressed
DOCTOR: Aaah, I understand. The machine
PATIENT: I mean the time machine, doctor. I explained it to the officers, but they didn’t want to believe me
DOCTOR: Have you invented a time machine?
PATIENT: Not me. The NASA
DOCTOR: Who is Nasa? A friend of yours?
PATIENT: No. Of course, you can not know because… in what year are we?
DOCTOR: Don’t you remember the year you live?
PATIENT: It’s just that I come from the future, doctor. From the year 2034
DOCTOR: Oh, sure
PATIENT: And now we must be in the year …
DOCTOR: 1934
PATIENT: Exactly. We programmed the machine to go back a century. Look, doctor. I’m going to confess to you a secret
DOCTOR: Oh well, we’ll finally get somewhere.
PATIENT: The NASA expressly forbade me, but I can not resist revealing it
DOCTOR: Say, say. I’m all ears
PATIENT: (Lowering the voice) You have to be careful. A serious danger threatens you. You must do something before it’s too late
DOCTOR: Who is threatening me?
PATIENT: Not you.The whole world. Have you heard of the Nazis?
DOCTOR: Do you mean that party that has come to power in Germany?
PATIENT: You have to crush them before they cause another world war. If NASA finds out that I’m revealing this to you, they will send me to Saturn without a return ticket. You know, they urged me not to interfere in the course of History. They believe that’s impossible, but even if it were possible it would be counterproductive. That’s what they said. But what awaits you is too horrible! The Holocaust! You have to stop that atrocity! I need to talk to the president!
DOCTOR: What president?
PATIENT: We are in the United States, right?
DOCTOR: Do you mean the president of the United States? Oh, I’m afraid he is too busy right now
PATIENT: Then the CIA, the FBI. Some authority
DOCTOR: Talk to me. Modestly, I am considered an authority on psychoanalysis
PATIENT: You think I’m crazy. But the crazy ones are them, the Nazis! They are very dangerous, doctor! They are going to cause a catastrophe!
DOCTOR: Listen, if it makes you feel better, I have as bad opinion of the Nazis as you
PATIENT: But my opinion is well founded. I know what they are capable of, because I come from the future, do you understand?
DOCTOR: Yes. Tell me, since when do you have that idea?
PATIENT: It’s not an idea, doctor. It’s true. How could I prove it? Perhaps NASA was right: there is no way to change the course of History no matter how hard a visitor of the future might try. But it’s worth trying, doctor! You must understand me! I must try to save all those innocent people!
The patient jumps to his feet.
DOCTOR: Where are you going? Lie back down. Remember that the two officers await you outside.
The patient looks around for something. Grabs a heavy statuette that rests on the analyst’s desk and rushes to the door.
The analyst also gets up and tries to stop him. But the patient knocks him down with a punch.
PATIENT: Excuse me, doctor
Then the door swings open and an officer appears:
AGENT: What’s that noise?
The patient hits him on the head with the statuette. At that moment the other officer enters.
AGENT: What the hell is going on here?
The second officer gets the same reception as the first one, and the patient runs out of the office. Then the analyst comes around.
DOCTOR: Mama warned me: “Choose a profession where you don’t have crazy people as clients”
SILLY HUMOR FOR SMART PEOPLE 