The patient, on the couch. The analyst behind seated in a chair.
PATIENT: Why do you insist on contradicting me, doctor? I tell you that my husband cheats on me!
DOCTOR: But you have no proof
PATIENT: And the floor lamp in the dining room?
DOCTOR: For goodness’ sake! We’re back with the lamp!
PATIENT: He bought her without consulting me!
DOCTOR: Because he liked it. But that does not make him an adulterer
PATIENT: That lamp is full of curves, doctor!
DOCTOR: It’s an Art Deco lamp. Art Deco is a curvilinear style. Your husband doesn’t cheat on you with that lamp. You have to get rid of that absurd idea
PATIENT: What if I tell you I’ve seen him embracing her?
DOCTOR: Embracing the lamp?
PATIENT: The other night I woke up and he wasn’t by my side in bed. I went stealthily to the dining room and there he was, embracing her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. What do you have to say to that, doctor?
DOCTOR: (Perplexed) Did he whisper in the lamp’s ear?
PATIENT: And he kissed her!
DOCTOR: Was the lamp off or on?
DOCTOR: Then surely the darkness confused you. Shadows made you see something that was not
PATIENT: I know what I saw! And it was an indecency. Kissing passionately with a lamp, the scoundrel! And in my own house!
DOCTOR: Okay, okay. Let’s suppose you are right and he was kissing the lamp. It’s a lamp, for God’s sake! Lamps have no feelings. How can you be jealous of a lamp?
PATIENT: What does it matter whether he is loved back or not? That doesn’t stop being adultery.
DOCTOR: Surely it’s just a passing fancy. He’ll get over it. Your husband is a renowned scientist. A reasonable man. He can not be seriously in love with a lamp … no matter how many curves it has
PATIENT: The fault lies with the government, which allows such indecent lamps to be manufactured. It is intolerable!
DOCTOR: (Still perplexed) Was he really embracing the lamp?
PATIENT: As if he were a monkey clinging to a tree trunk. It was obscene! I should contact the National Legion of Decency. They know how to act in these cases
The analyst turns to look at the standing lamp that illuminates the room.
PATIENT: What do you do?
The analyst turns immediately and meets his patient’s inquisitive eyes.
DOCTOR: Who? Me?
PATIENT: Yes, you! I’ve seen how you were looking at that lamp.
DOCTOR: You will not be implying that I …
PATIENT: You men are all the same!
The patient gets up angrily, grabs her purse, and hits the analyst with a slap that knocks him off the chair.
Then she leaves the room, indignant.