Episode 17: “THE ALLEGED AUTHOR OF THE BOOK OF ACTS”

Lord Byron wanders arrogantly through the vaulted cellar while the mustached alien princess (we already know that “she” is also “he”, but we’ll call her/him “she” to simplify) exhausts the arguments to try to convince him to accompany her to her planet and marry her there. Then, one of her mustached subjects bursts in to warn her that the owner of the house has just arrived. The princess waves a fist to Byron (who in turn give her the finger) and she hurries up the stairs that lead to the inn run by Caroline Walsolz, where the group of mustached aliens are staying.

In the inn’s hall, Mrs. Walsolz takes off her bonnet while ranting about the meeting she just attended in Mrs. Schopenhauer’s salon: “I never heard so many nonsense together!” At this moment the alien princess enters the hall: “What do you mean, Mrs. Walsolz?”. “Ah, Prtzil, one afternoon you should accompany me to Mrs. Schopenhauer’s salon. Just so you can see how boring it is. And to think I had to pretend to be the author of the “Book of Acts” of the Apostles to be admitted to it! And to think that, to this end, I had to copy all the “Acts” by hand! And to think I just wanted to make some inspired illiterate observations! But Illiterature is barely spoken of in Mrs. Schopenhauer’s salon! Today, for example, the subject has been the aliens. There has been no talk of anything else! How tedious!”

Suddenly, the alien princess shows interest: “What has been said about aliens?”

“Bah, I didn’t even pay attention. I was licking my bonnet. Do you know that my bonnet tastes like raspberry?”

“But you must have heard something…”

“Oh, yes! They were saying that the aliens had kidnapped Lord Byron. Note what nonsense! Do you believe in aliens, Prtzil?”

“Not really.”

“Me neither. I believe in fairies, elves, witches, ghosts, vampires, werewolves … but not in aliens. Beings of another planet! It’s ridiculous just to think about it! For there to be beings from other planets, there would have to be other planets. And everyone knows that Earth is the only planet that exists. That is why the apostles did not go beyond the Earth to preach the doctrine of Christ. They had enough with preaching in other countries! Imagine if they had had to go preach to other planets! Their “Acts” would be unlimited! And I would still be copying by hand!”

“It really does not make sense”, the princess alien agrees.

This is a non-profit blog whose purpose is to raise funds for children in need. So if you want to make a donation in exchange for this story, click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close