Episode 41: “LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER IN RELIGION”

Today I skipped the first, the second and the third climbs of the day to go to a synagogue and meet with a rabbi. It has been a very useful interview. Now I know how Moses managed to keep his sandals from getting wet when he crossed the Red Sea. Now I know what God had in mind when he ordered Abraham to sacrifice his only son. (In any case, it was fortunate that Abraham was a man of slow movements.) Now I understand why God became so angry with his servant Job. (If he had not added that little pig bone to the broth…). Now I understand why Jacob chose a stone as a pillow instead of a cushion of feathers. (Well, the truth is that I do not quite understand it, but I know it’s understandable.) Now I know why our ancestors had to walk forty years in the desert. (There is nothing so healthy as walking in the desert twelve hours a day for forty years in a row.) Now I understand why God is bothered by apostasy and why men are bothered by God’s botheration. Now I understand so many things! How have I been able to live all these years ignoring these things? Quite simply, I can’t figure it out. On the way out of the synagogue, a couple of stocky assistants of Dr. Hoenstrich were waiting for me. They severely rebuked me for having missed three of my poisonous water intakes. They reminded me that it was for the sake of my health. And so that I will not forget again, they have beaten me up.

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