Meanwhile, the mayoral elections had taken place and for the umpteenth time they were won by the Tammany Hall candidate, a certain Morgan S. Fitzpatrick, of whom an investigative journalist discovered that he had been dead and buried for ten years. (Interestingly enough, shortly after publishing the news, it didn’t take long for the journalist to be dead as a result of a hunting accident happened in his very apartment in Manhattan.) In Five Points and other adjacent neighborhoods, the victory of the late mayor had been overwhelming: 120% of the voters gave him their confidence. Naturally, all this raised the suspicions of Squattedman, who decided to change strategy. Instead of dismantling the corrupt organization from the cusp, he would start from the bottom and go up as if by a ladder. So he started to frequent Five Points.

The first day he was assaulted by the members of a new band, heiress of the Dead Rabbits. The name of this newly created band was not as original as that of its predecessor: they called themselves the Five Points Gang, which denotes a rather scarce imagination. This band was engaged in trafficking with all kinds of products, from weapons to dental floss, so the Squattedman’s elegant clothing immediately attracted their attention. Fifteen or twenty thugs surrounded him and demanded that he undress with the pretext of bringing his clothes to the laundry. Squattedman obeyed without questioning but, to the surprise of the gangsters, he squatted immediately and began to do what the dimwit gangsters interpreted with laughter as “defecating”. They ignored that the superhero was loading engines, but they soon found out when Squattedman turned into a whirlwind that scattered his assailants within a mile radius. Only one of them was unharmed, but it is because Squattedman needed some information. 

After dressing again, Squattedman went to visit Paul Kelly, to whom his kind informant had pointed as the gang boss. His unexpected irruption into Kelly’s headquarters interrupted a murky purchase-sale transaction of a stash of fifteen thousand flags of Peru. Immediately, Squattedman was surrounded by a large number of gangsters who again forced him to undress under the same pretext alleged by his colleagues. And again the same scene was repeated. Only Kelly was unharmed. But he was not as willing to collaborate as his previous informant, so his indemnity did not last long and, in a short time, he suffered fifteen accidents one behind the other.

This is a non-profit blog whose purpose is to raise funds for children in need. So if you want to make a donation in exchange for this story, click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

The Five Points Gang

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