TATTLE

At dusk, a group of women crowd around in the middle of the town square:

“Strange things are happening lately in this town. First, Grand Rabbi Tzvi disappears without a trace. Then the elders close the Beit Midrash for two days without explanation. Then there are witnesses who claim to have seen the elders late at night accompanied by a naked giant. Then Charna… tell them what you told me, Charna.”

“The other afternoon I went to the town hall to pick up the document proving that, although my husband is a plush doll, we are married by Jewish law. And while I waited for my turn, I was hearing tremendous blows on the upper floor, as if a hippo was jumping ropes.”

“And finally poor Elijah Sutzkever flew out through a town hall window and flied over the entire town like a shooting star. And that in the middle of the Shabbat! ”

“What a scandal! The Talmud expressly prohibits flying on Shabbat to anything that lacks wings!”

“By the way, how is poor Elijah?”

“The doctor strives to save at least one rib so that no one can say that he is a schlimazel (a jinxed man) for having broken all the bones.”

“I think something serious happens in Chelm”

“A tsores, a tsores! (a plague)

“And the elders are hiding it from us.”

“It’s all because of that damn Kabbalah! Feh! It has turned their brains! If I find that book I will throw it into the fire, oh yeah! ”

“Silence! There comes old Fishel.”

“Shalom, women!”

“What’s up, Fishel? How you doing in the town hall?”

“Pse.”

“When are you going to install the stairs to access the upper floor?”

“Ah, that has been dismissed. We can go without luxuries.”

“Do you call a staircase to access the upper floor a luxury?”

“But you can’t go without Kábbalah, huh?!”

“The study of Kabbalah is an obligation for elder Jews.”

“Tell us something you learned in Kabbalah”

“Well look, I just left a study meeting and I learned that ‘It split and did not split its aura’”

“And what does it mean?”

Suddenly he feels uneasy, makes a vague gesture with his hand and says:

“Something about splitting and not splitting. And an aura too. And a camel. And now excuse me but I have to get home before my neshamah (my soul) arrives.”

And he runs as fast as he can. 

This is a non-profit blog whose purpose is to raise funds for children in need. So if you want to make a donation in exchange for this story, click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

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