“ESOTERICALLY SPEAKING, THERE IS NO SEPARATION BETWEEN THE PATRIARCHS, THAT’S WHY HE SAID ‘WHEN I SLEEP WITH MY PARENTS’”

This enigmatic phrase causes an irate and sudden reaction by Dudel: 

“Esoterically speaking?! Why does the Golem suddenly have to speak esoterically? That’ll make things even more difficult!”

Since no one has ordered him to stop, the Golem continues to read imperturbably. He is standing in the center of the room with the Zohar open in his hands, reading with his deep voice that sounds like it’s coming from beyond the grave.

“Stop Golem!”, Evron orders. “Let us see if we can try to make things a little easier. Don’t speak esoterically, please Golem. Speak plainly, as if your audience were a bunch of fools. Fershtay? (Do you understand?)”

“Yeah”, the Golem responds. “Golem already knew that he has an audience of fools. Golem is not stupid.”

These last words create a stir in the room. But Evron calms the nerves by giving the Golem a signal to continue reading, which he obeys:

“Dad and mom sleep together. It is what is called ‘sleeping together’ and is when dad and mom sleep in the same bed. Because if they slept in different beds, you could not say they ‘sleep together’ but rather they ‘sleep apart’.”

Chatzkel bangs his fists on the table.

“That’s all we needed!”, he exclaims, “The Golem plays us for fools!”

The wise men of Chelm makes much of a fuss about it. They get up from their chairs and go into uproar:

“Oy vey! Oy vey iz mir! (Woe is me!)

What a shame! Be taken for a shmendrik by a golem!

“Who does he think he is?! Maimonides?!”

“It’s an outrage! I won’t be able to look my onions in the face again!”

“Schlemiel, what do you say about onions?”

“I mean my children! I don’t even know what I’m saying! Oy vey is mir!

“Vos a shlekht mzl! (That’stoo bad!) Somebody is stacking the cards against us!”

“This is outrageous!”

Some tear their garments. Others throw up their hands in horror. Some others run around the room moaning and, accidentally, fall through the hole that gives access to the ground floor. In short, this former applied group of Kabbalah scholars is now in a state of chaos. 

Meanwhile the impassive Golem continues reading in plain language: “Well, the Patriarchs are like dad and mom…”

This is a non-profit blog whose purpose is to raise funds for children in need. So if you want to make a donation in exchange for this story, click on this link to UNICEF. I really appreciate it!

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