BANANAS PHYSICS (I’m a book)

WHAT’S NEUTRON DOING IN THE NUCLEUS?
You don’t want to find out, trust me. I’ve been peeping in the atomic nucleus for longer, and I’ve seen things that would make Oktoberfest seem dull by comparison. But it’s all the fault of the up and down quarks. Neutrons are good guys. They’re teetotallers and you won’t see them cheating on their wives with other women. Up and down quarks are the ones who have fallen into bad company, such as strange quarks and charm quarks, which just go around drunk, tearing’ up stuff and flirtin’ with antiquarks. Of course, this has an impact on neutrons’ stability. But that’s inevitable. It is as if you carry an Oktoberfest within you. You would suffer hallucinations whether you want to or not, and before you knew it, you would be dancing naked and wearing a lamp for a hat.