A Nazi film reel was recently found in Düsseldorf. The yellowed label on the can records its author (Heinrich Himmler, head of the SS and one of the greatest assholes in History) along with its title: ”The Stupefying Power of the Occult”. We already know the passion that aroused everything Occult in the feverish minds of the Nazi dignitaries. The restorers have only been able to rescue the initial sequence. In it we see a pointed hood magician (whose small mustache and constipated pig face coincidentally mimic those of Hitler) who is hell-bent on getting the secret recipe for pickled gherkins. According to the reports in his possession, this recipe is responsible for the blond hair and blue eyes of the Aryan race, as well as for their stinky breath. The magician is eagerly examining a gherkin while speaking to it in a sweet voice. “I love you” he tells it, and blushes. At that moment, the door is suddenly opened and an SS officer surprises the magician kissing the pickle with relish. To hide his feelings, the magician swallows the pickle. Then begins to scold the newcomer heatedly. Suddenly he raises his hands to his throat and his face turns green. It’s obvious that he is choking on the gherkin. At hearing the screams, a group of SS hurries to the scene and finds the magician collapsing. Himmler (who plays himself in the movie) steeps forward and kneels next to the inert body whining and making bubbles with a big wand with soap. Suddenly he gets up and yells at his men: “Go search a medicine that brings this man back to life!” And the last image shows an SS soldier rushing out of the room: “I run to the vending machine”, he screams.

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