WHO IS THE BIGGEST SEER IN HISTORY?

As it happens, the biggest seer in history is also one of the biggest Shlimazel in history. His name was Nathaniel Cotton (1913-1999), aka “the Great Yiddisher” (the Great Jewish Head), aka “the Great Shlimazel” (the Great Jinx). At the outset Cotton wanted to be a rock-star, but when he learned that singing was required, he gave up and moved on to divination. He had his own style of divining: holding on to the microphone with both hands and non-stop wiggling his hips. His beginnings in the world of divination were difficult. He used to jump on stage in the middle of a rock-star performance and drop a prediction before being kicked out. During those brief chances, Cotton predicted some of the most important events of our time beginning with his own accidental fall down a well. (Since he had been warned by himself, he escaped the accident unscathed thanks to being tied to the chord of the pulley.) At an U2 concert, he predicted “the end of a political regime” (some years later, Paraguay’s dictatorship collapsed) as well as “the emergence of a new regime” (the subsequent Paraguayan democracy). He also predicted “the permanence of Brazil in its current location”. “However, France will move to the Middle East”. This second part of the prediction has yet to be fulfilled, but there is speculation that it may happen in the coming years.

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