HOW DO I GET RID OF A GHOST HAUNTING MY HOME? IT LIKES TO KNOCK ON THE WALL OF MY ROOM WHILE I TRY TO SLEEP

Let me ask you a question: Do you snore? First of all, make sure it’s not your neighbor who is complaining about your snoring. Once that possibility is ruled out, make sure again. Then grab a chair and place it in the center of the room. Start spinning around it while counting to twenty-two out loud. When you get to twenty-two, hurry up to take a seat. If the chair expels you, that means there is someone sitting on it, probably a ghost. Now focus: you have a ghost sitting in the chair. Sneakily go find a thick rope, pounce on the ghost and tie him to the chair with the rope. If he resists, grab the lamp from the nightstand and hit him on the head. Then call a cab and ask the cabbie to take you to the furthest cemetery. (Don’t forget the chair.) Tell the cabbie to wait for you until you leave the cemetery. There, you stand before the chair and pronounce the following spell: “I conjure you, ghost, free yourself from your chains just as I free you from your restraints!” Then unleash the ghost and run back to the cab. If the cabbie asks, tell him to mind his own business.