Anunnaki are known to inhabit among us, but it’s still a difficult task to identify them because they cover their faces with a fluorescent pink balaclava. Well, I have specialized in this difficult task, for which I use a pendulum. Actually, the pendulum is nothing more than the tool for channeling an innate ability in me. There are people with a special sensitivity to see ghosts. There are people with a special sensitivity to see fairies. There are people with a special sensitivity to see chickens. Well, it turns out that I have a special sensitivity to see anunnaki. In Brooklyn I am fondly known as “the idiot of the pendulum”. Every morning I go hunting so to speak. I leave home early, and slowly walk the streets holding my pendulum before me. When the pendulum starts rotating counterclockwise, that means the person who just passed me is one of them. (If it rotates clockwise it means that the person is a member of the Republican Party, but this is irrelevant.) So I keep the pendulum and the dangerous part of my task begins: unmasking the anunnaki. For every anunnaki that I unmask, the government gives me a medal. However, I don’t do this for medals but for patriotism. Anunnaki are extraterrestrial agents infiltrated among us, and their mission is to destroy Earth. But first they want to complete their 1952 Topps baseball cards’ collection. And that gives me a certain advantage over them.

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