Yesterday afternoon, while I was wandering around Queens with my pendulum, it began to rotate counterclockwise when I walked by an individual in a checkered jacket and pink balaclava. I immediately switched myself to alert mode and, as I did so, I got my left pant leg caught on something pointy. Although I heard the sound of rending cloth, when I switch myself to alert mode I am so conscientious that I didn’t even notice that my pants were torn off and left behind. I attributed the insults, imprecations, blows and kicks that started raining down on me to a presumed collaboration of Queens with the anunnaki. Collaborationists with aliens are also subject to oversight by the authorities, so I was about to pull out my cell phone to report on this when I missed my pocket and then my pants. Oh my! If only I hadn’t forgotten to put on my boxer shorts… In a hurry I went into a men’s clothing store where I bought some pants at an astronomical price. No doubt the shopkeeper took advantage of my delicate situation to scam me. But the most annoying thing was that the incident made me lose track of the anunnaki in a checkered jacket and pink balaclava.