Yesterday the event that marked the course of my existence happened to me again. I was in my bed at night dealing with a monstrous succubus when suddenly the room was filled with changing colored lights like those of a nightclub. The succubus freaked out and volatilized as I was sucked into a spacecraft of extraterrestrial origin. When the Zeta Reticulans surrounded me, I thought I was going to have another sex reassignment surgery and started shouting at them that I couldn’t be changing sex every now and then because that required a complete change of my wardrobe and I couldn’t currently afford it. (I’m catching few anunnaki lately and the government pay has been reduced accordingly.) Mentioning the anunnaki saved me because, as soon as the Zeta Reculans heard this name, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. I took this opportunity to throw myself through the hole through which moments before I had been sucked, and landed on my bed unharmed.

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