THE GRAND CANYON

A lot of people irrationally say that the Grand Canyon in Arizona was made by erosion, whether it be the erosion by water over the course of hundreds of centuries, or the erosion by sandpaper that a guy named Gotfried amused himself with in the course of his lifetime. Well, I will reveal a secret. The Grand Canyon was made by aliens in two seconds: the time taken by them to land their spaceship on it. The Native Americans who inhabited those lands bequeathed us an enlightening legendary tale: the ‘Chupinawpa’. According to this ancient oral chronicle of events, “the gods descended on a burning eagle and, after destroying everything, they taught us natural medicine, tannery and typing.” The Grand Canyon could not be made by erosion for the simple reason that erosion didn’t exist back then. No ancient chronicle tells us about erosion. It’s not until recent times that there is talk of erosion. Instead, Native Americans’ oral chronicles talk ceaselessly about aliens: “The gods gave us a cactus to suck on, and we got a bit merry”… It must be said that whenever someone talks about gods before 1995, one must understand ‘aliens’. Just like every time someone talks about aliens today, one have to understand ‘gods’.