Art historians have tiptoed around ‘June 7, 1909 incident’. However, this incident raises some essential questions. For example: We have been told that abstract art disdains the representation of visible reality. But what if it were representing the visible reality of other planets? If we look at the photographs taken by the Kepler space telescope, we see that the visible reality of many exoplanets bears a striking resemblance to some abstract paintings -and I dare say, to some abstract painters themselves (place a picture of Jackson Pollock next to a picture of planet Kepler-62f and watch both out of the corner of the eye). In short, the crucial question is: Does modern art have an extraterrestrial origin? For proponents of the ancient astronaut theory, the answer is “yes of course, by all means”. Perhaps we can shed some light on this by analyzing three cave paintings recently discovered in the ladies’ room of the Barcelona Museum of Contemporary Art… The first painting depicts a mammoth hunter who suddenly feels a pressing need to serve his bodily functions and hides behind a bush. The second cave painting is possibly one of the first nudes in Art: In the background of a rococo room we are shown a man seen from the back, naked, holding a giraffe by the neck. Finally, the third painting describes a sack race in the context of a beer festival (in the middle ground are a lot of people vomiting). But the main interest of these cave paintings is that these beautiful scenes of ordinary life aren’t painted realistically but in the cubist way -namely, overlapping a lot of geometric planes and giving plastic expression to the notion of “Olly olly oxen free”.

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