ARE UFO APPARITIONS A THREAT?

There is much controversy among experts about whether or not aliens pose a threat. Uri Bloomfield, from Columbia University, considers it highly probable that aliens could become a threat “but the true fact that they don’t exist substantially reduces that probability”. On the other hand, Mark C. Armstrong, professor of microbiology at Berkeley believes that precisely the fact that they do not exist poses a serious danger since non-existence leads to disappointment “and there is nothing more dangerous than a disappointed alien, with the possible exception of a Tyrannosaurus rex be it disappointed or not.” But what do witnesses think? F. Ginsagnani, the owner of a florist on which a horde of flower-eater aliens landed, thinks they do pose a threat: “Especially to petunias” he confides. Instead, A. Tommaso swears that they are friendly, despite having implanted a chip in his brain through which they remote control him as if he were a puppet. But “they shouldn’t be judged for such trivialities,” he declares. “After all, being a puppet is not so terrible: you save yourself from making decisions. Before the abduction, for example, poisoning the city’s drinking water supply would have been a moral dilemma to me. Now I’ve done it without blinking an eye.”