THE PEPPERONI UFO INCIDENT

Our next witness was working at the time of the events as a deliveryman on the night shift at the pizzeria ‘Fabrizio’ in Cincinnati: “They called in the early morning for a pepperoni pizza. I took the motorcycle and went to the drop-off point in a secluded place on the outskirts. Halfway there, I noticed that I was being followed by air. There is so much competition in the pizza delivery business that I wasn’t surprised. I started prancing around on the motortcycle trying to shake them off, but I ended up skidding and the pizza went flying. When I regained consciousness after a few minutes I was lying in the middle of the road and the pizza was suspended in the air right above me. It had grown a lot in size, some seven hundred times larger. Suddenly a hole opened in the pizza dough and two pepperoni slices went down a ladder. I don’t like pepperoni, so I got on the bike and ran off. When I got to the pizzeria and told what had happened, Fabrizio accused me of using drugs as an accompaniment to the pizza. But the Lord knows that I would never do drugs! Much less eat a pepperoni pizza.”

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