The other day thieves broke into my apartment. They took everything, absolutely everything, including the furniture. They left only Sam. He thought it was a move and didn’t think much of it. He just kept reading the Times like it was nothing. Do you remember I told you that I wanted to move to another apartment? Well, I’ve already moved, only that I don’t know where. Sam didn’t even ask them, he just let them do. Even got up to allow them to take the Louis XV-style armchair. When I arrived he was delighted with their work. “They hardly made any noise”, he said. The quietest and fastest move he had ever witnessed! He even gave them the money he had on him as a tip. The police couldn’t believe that someone could be that stupid, they said he must be in league with the thieves. He was transferred to the police station for questioning, until they became convinced that he was a complete fool and released him. The fool still insists it was a move. “Darling, you know how forgetful you are” he says. But as you’ll understand, don’t remembering where you put the bag is one thing and forgetting that you’ve hired movers is quite another. “But didn’t you say they were wearing US Presidents masks?!” I yelled at him. And he: “That’s a publicity stunt, like Mr. Peanut or the Hamburger’s Happy Clown.” Now he’s looking for moving companies that use US Presidents’ effigies as a claim. Can you believe it? He has even asked at the White House. Says the President could have started a moving business.

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