(CONT’D) Because what at first was qualified as “murder” became “head theft” when the deceased picked himself up, dusted himself down and walked under his own steam. Then the press echoed the finding of the lost head in the office’s cabinet, a head of sound mind to make matters worse, all of which stirred up a scandal of large proportions. Traditionally, medicine had considered the body-head separation a serious obstacle to the proper functioning of human being. Yet Emil Gresham case seemed to disprove this ingrained belief. Some doctors even began to consider it beneficial for the body to have his head separated, as this made it possible for him to rest free from worries in which the head could be engrossed. Trying to put an end to this big public scandal, good Mayor LaGuardia hired the services of Enigma Consultants S.L. Day and night there were journalists stationed at Emil Gresham’s door. On the two occasions that the Archbishop sent an exorcist to the house, the main radio stations in New York City broadcasted live the exorcist’s continuous entrances and exits. Sometimes he came out with an expression of horror on his face and covered in a yellowish mud that turned out to be vomit; other times he walked out of the house with a big dopey grin on his face and panda eyes; and still other times he was fired through the window or the chimney. After breaking through the crowd of journalists, Michael Schlimazl and Jacob Schlemilh managed to gain access to the house. They thought it wouldn’t be so bad, but at seeing the head reposing peacefully on the bedside table while the body laid in bed, they had a fit of hysteria. Fortunately, right there was a shrink:“Lay down, relax, and breathe deeply” said the head. “You have the uterus displaced, but don’t worry. I’ll anchor your uterus back into the pelvis.” At the sound of his master’s voice, the headless body laying on bed extended his arms straight out and bolted in pursuit of Michael and Jacob, who had gone on a mad flight. But being blind, Dr. Gresham’s body did no more than slam into anything that came in his way. Thus, soon went unconscious, leaving behind a jumble of fallen furniture as if a hurricane had passed through. This gave the two consultants the opportunity to thoroughly explore the house in search of something odd or suspicious. And they found it: there was a flowerpot of earth with tall bluish-green leaves sticking out instead of flowers. The two consultants proceeded to pull the leaves and, after a while of struggling, they succeeded to uproot the bulb at the base of the plant. It was an onion. At the very moment when the bulb was uprooted, Emil Gresham’s head was magically reinserted in his body and normality returned to his life, which was quickly reflected in the sudden increase of the city’s suicide rate.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close