A TERRIFYING CASE

(CONT’D) “New York’s upper class is terrified, gentlemen,” says Mr. Southborn restoring his upright stance. “We are getting really frantic. Yesterday afternoon Miss Sarah Vanderbilt went for a walk in the park and she had to throw herself into the pond when the lettuce asked her in marriage.”“What a nerve!”“She turned it down, I gather.”“Naturally! You must understand, people of our standing are particular about whom we marry.”“Of course.””Even I wouldn’t marry a lettuce,” says Jacob, “no matter how pretty it was.”“What happened next?” inquiries Michael.“Well, the lettuce got angry and pursued her throughout the park until the poor woman had no choice but to throw herself into the pond.”“What did the lettuce do then?”“Ran away. But this morning it has been seen in this very house.”Both consultants jump at the same time: “Don’t tell me!” “I myself have had it face to face as I now have you. It’s the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had!”“Did the lettuce also propose marriage to you?”“It tried to blackmail me! When I refused, she pounced on me and gave me a headbutt.”“So we face an aggressive lettuce…”“My hypothesis is that it’s possessed by the devil.”“That’s a grave charge. What makes you think that?”“Its way of looking. Those vegetable eyes… just were horrifying!” (TO BE CONTINUED)