THE SANDWICHES

(CONT’D) “Turn on the flashlight!”A powerful beam of yellow light illuminates the face of Mr. Miller which appears squeezed into a sea serpent costume. “Mr. Miller!” exclaims Michael, “What in the world are you doing here?!” “Help me get into the boat.”Michael and Jacob help the snake-man get on board.“You see, guys, business is down lately, so I’ve been forced to steal sandwiches. I made this waterproof costume myself. It’s supposed to be an eel. As for what I do, I am investigating the disappearances.” “What disappearances?” “Sandwiches.” “Aren’t you accountable for that?” “I’m just accountable for peanut butter sandwiches’ disappearances.” “You mean you only steal peanut butter sandwiches?” “I have no choice. Someone is taking the rest, damn it!” “Is there someone else besides you down there?” “I’m sure there is! And I’m going to catch him ‘cause I’m sick of this diet of peanut butter! By the way, have you only brought around peanut butter sandwiches?”“I’m afraid so.”“Damn you! Anyway, give me, give me!” Michael hands him the sandwiches basket. “You owe us an explanation,” he says while Mr. Miller devours the food. Mr. Miller talks with a full mouth: “You see, guys, in the two months I’ve been here, I’ve only managed to steal peanut butter sandwiches, so there must be somebody else! Because you don’t think New Yorkers only eat peanut butter sandwiches, do you? There must be someone else down here who doesn’t like peanut butter and who’s beating me to all the other sandwiches!” “That sounds a little weird, Mr. Miller.” “Piss on you!” “Haven’t you seen anyone else down here?” “Not seen, but I’ve FELT a presence.” “What kind of presence?” Suddenly a loud noise of water being displaced is heard. “Point the light down there!” Michael shouts, and Jacob directs the spotlight toward the place in the pond where the noise is coming from. Not far from the boat, an invisible shape plows through the water.“There, there it goes!” Mr. Miller yells.“Oh my!” Jacob startles, and the flashlight drops into the water. “What have you done, jerk?!” Michael loudly chides him as the light is sinking slowly and the water noise approaches. Suddenly, something charges the boat violently splitting it in half.The next day, the New York Times sported the following front-page headline: ‘Shipwreck in Central Park Pond. Only three survivors.”