WHO WAS THE FIRST PARAPSYCHOLOGIST IN HISTORY?

45,000 years ago, in mid-July, specifically on the 4th at 3:30 am local time, a Neanderthal named Yrtytyt got out of the cave to go to the toilet. While he was relieving his bladder, he was stunned to see a pair of lights approaching. They were located in parallel at a low height from the ground. Yrtytyt quickly ducked behind the bushes and watched carefully as the two mysterious lights stopped. Behind the lights was a vehicle, specifically a Blue ‘57 Chevrolet Bel Air. Yrtytyt quickly realized that this was not normal. He did not say to himself that it was a paranormal thing because the word ‘paranormal’ had not yet been invented. In fact, the word ‘normal’ had not been invented either. In fact, not even language had yet been invented… Suddenly, the lights went out and music came out of the vehicle, specifically “Bye Bye Love” sung by Everly Brothers. At this point, Yrtytyt lost consciousness as a result of the strong impressions received. When he came around, the vehicle had disappeared and his caveman companions urged him to accompany them to hunt a mammoth. As they came down the path, Yrtytyt gaped at two parallel tire treads just where the lights had come from last night. Back from the hunting, the treads were still there and Yrtytyt examined them closely and followed them until their trail was suddenly lost. Parapsychologists today consider Yrtytyt the first parapsychologist in history.