THE CHIMP

The other day I met a chimpanzee at the Bronx Zoo. I was amazed at how much chimpanzees resemble men. They have the same kind of idle chatter. Sam was with me, and if I closed my eyes, I couldn’t tell which talk was his and which was the chimp’s. At one point I found the chimp’s chatter more interesting, so I asked Sam to be quiet. At this his ego got hurt, and all of a sudden he just started ranting and raving. Everyone stared at him in horror. Even the chimpanzee was horrified. Suddenly the chimp grabbed a stick and hit Sam on the head. Sam turned against the chimp and the two put up a fight through the bars. I can’t tell you how ashamed I was. It was closing time and… the chimpanzee knocks him out with one punch! You imagine that?! I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t think straight. I dragged Sam a long way to hide him in some bushes. “I’ll be back tomorrow to get him”, I thought. But at night I heard on the radio that a corpse had been found…! I couldn’t hear anything else, I almost fainted. They’ll charge me with murder, I thought! Of course, the murderer was the chimpanzee, but who would believe me? Besides, the chimp had an alibi: he was inside his cage, while I… Then, there’s a knock on the door. “The police are already here!” I thought. And I was about to escape down the fire escape, when I hear Sam’s voice. He was in a rage. He had had to dig a tunnel to get out of the zoo without his photo being in all the newspapers the next day.